so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
