"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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