I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
