Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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