I feel like I'm in dance class right now
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
