Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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