Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
