and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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