I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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