my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
