Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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