sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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