OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just cropdusted the office
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
