we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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