you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
How does one acquire holy water?
not ubering you a puppy
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize