This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
