5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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