I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
