you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
