Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just threw up on my dentist
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
