Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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