biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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