yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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