Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
