Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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