So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
