You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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