Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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