Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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