Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
