Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Ladies don't puke and tell
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
