I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
