Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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