we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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