trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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