You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
