you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Found your dick twin last night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
