I am in a vortex of obligation.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
