Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
