I only kidnapped one of them. chill
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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