dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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