I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
