The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
