I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
and she was petting her beer can
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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