i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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