i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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