I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
