Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
tell your sister to shave her snatch
im six kinds of drunk right now
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
