plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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