gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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