Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
