Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
